singlenessblog

Guest Blogger: Holly Tucker

God created within each of us a need for relationships.  When God created Adam, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”  (Gen. 2:18)  His solution to this problem was to create a wife for Adam.  It is His desire that we have someone to walk with and support us throughout life.  However, for some of us, singleness is a part of our life.  It doesn’t define us, but it does affect our life.  And it isn’t a phase that is guaranteed to change.  It could, and more thank likely change at some point, but we aren’t exempt from the need for relationships.  So, the question that needs to be answered is, how do we meet our need for relationship while we are still single?  I believe there are 3 ways that the church can and should assist singles in this.

1. Pray With Us.

Relationships are greatly strengthened when we pray together.  If you pray regularly with your spouse, perhaps you can verify that statement.  Assuming that you pray with your spouse every day, or at least most days, and you notice how it brings you together as a couple.  Another great benefit to praying together is that this reminds you that someone else is committed to caring for you and standing with you no matter what happens.

Although singles cannot experience prayer together in the same way that a couple can, there are ways that couples can assist in this.  Ask what our needs are currently, don’t assume you know.  Pray for God wants, not what we want.  We will have days when we are overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness and rejection.  It’s normal.  But God may not want to change our circumstances, and that’s ok.  Remember that we face the same struggles that you do.  We have responsibilities, temptations, and weaknesses, many of which make us no different than you.  Pray that God will strengthen us the same way that you would pray for your marriage.  If we choose to open up to you, listen.  Don’t think we aren’t happy with our lives, we are just having a bad day.  Be a spiritual example for us.  Just because we don’t need to be told how to be a good spouse doesn’t mean we don’t need your advice.  Show us how to live for Christ in the situation that we are in now.

2. Encourage Us.

Life doesn’t discriminate between singles and couples when storms happen.  Loved ones pass on.  Financial difficulty pops up.  And sometimes our relationships get strained.  Sometimes we just need to be reminded that we aren’t alone.  Sometimes we need to be reminded that we are valued.  Church culture places a high value on families, which is absolutely necessary.  However, these messages can be so overwhelming at times that it can leave us wondering if there is any encouragement left for us.  We may never be the supportive spouse who prays for her husband while he is at work.  We may never be the loving mom who tucks her kids in at night.  We may never bear the responsibility of fighting for our family.  But we may very well have the opportunity to fight for a child who was abandoned by his family.  Or maybe our role will be to assist parents in teaching their kids about Christ.  God may ask us to use our time to stay with some kids in our church so their parents can have a weekend away together.  But if we are to accomplish our purpose, we need to stay strong.  And that means that we need the support of other believers who will encourage us when we feel like giving up.

3.  Celebrate With Us.

The two greatest moments in anyone’s life are when they get married and when they have a baby.  Those are great things to celebrate and should be honored.  But not everyone shares those experiences.  Sometimes our greatest moments seem smaller in comparison.  Maybe we just landed our dream job.   Perhaps we just accomplished something we’ve been working on for a long time.   But regardless of what we are celebrating, we need people who will rejoice with us.  Let’s honor singles by showing them how great their life is and reminding them of all that they have to celebrate.

These are just a few ways that couples can impact Christian singles.  The greatest thing to remember is that our lives are all just as valuable to God.  We may face different struggles, and our purpose may be different, but we are all in this together.  And in the same way that we honor marriage, let’s show every single in our church that we honor them.  We all have a part to play in the kingdom of God, and when we work together, we can accomplish great things.


hollytuckerHolly is currently serving as the preschool director at Westwood Christian Fellowship. She is currently preparing to become the kids’ director at Life Church, a church plant in Glasgow, Scotland.  Holly received a Bachelor’s in Education from SAGU, and went on to obtain a Master’s in Accounting from AIU.  However, her real dream is to help care for orphans in other countries.